First of all, I'd like to apologize for the time it took us to get back to you. We're currently pretty swamped with eHelps, so it takes us awhile to get to everyone... although we try not to let anyone go ignored.

Now, I'm going to tell you what I tell most everyone who come to us with relationship problems. Hon, we're support leaders, not God. No matter how much I wish I could, there's no way I could tell you what this guy is thinking, and what his intentions are. What I can do, however, is tell you what I think -- but remember, I'm just a teenager like you -- I'm not necessarily right.

It sounds to me that this guy is just really confused about his feelings towards you. He's had a few girlfriends, probably even considered you a girlfriend at some point or at least had a huge crush on you... and his feelings for you have been going back and forth. He might like you, but as he said, is trying to keep himself from having a relationship since he's going away so soon. Do you know what a self-fulfilling prophecy is? He tells himself he can't like you, so he doesn't. He's keeping himself from it.

That's just what I think, but I really don't know. And, as I'm sure you know, there's only one way to find out what he's really thinking. And that is... here it comes... talk to him about it. Now trust me, I know how hard this is. I talk to loads of people with problems like yours and certainly have my own issues with guys... it's not easy for any of us to talk to them about issues like this. Most girls don't confront them because they think it's "impossible" -- but that's just an illusion. In preschool, you were taught that absolutely nothing is impossible. This is something that applies here more than ever. You really CAN talk to him, hard as it will be. But remember, it's not that you can't do it -- you certainly can, it'll just be a challenge. Go for it! You'll be proud of yourself if you do.

Sit him down, maybe ask him to get something at a coffee house or something. If he refuses, keep insisting. Insist how absolutely crucial it is that he you guys talk. If he absolutely refuses, just say straight out, "____, I know you don't want to talk to me, but you're just being unfair. You're leading me on and I need to know what you feel. I won't be upset, but we need to talk." When you finally get him, lay your cards out on the table. Don't keep anything from him, tell him everything. Be very frank with him, and find out what's going through his side of this story. I don't know what he'll say... it could be good, and it could be bad. But at least you'll know your answer. Once you have that, we can deal with it from there. :)

All my love and support now,
Keren ♥
xoxo1234

Posted at 5:04 am on May 17, 2008