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From: (Not Displayed) Received: 12:34 pm on May 14, 2008 Return to Inbox
Subject: i have a teacher in college who is married and keeps flirting with me all the time
hiya well I am a student in this college and I am 22 years old and there is this really atractive teacher who teachers me sometimes who is 34 married and got a family to my first year I started there it started with a bit of flirting and leaning our legs together under the table and that was that but this year I have gone back and she is doing alot more with me now like saying I am cute gawjuss saying I am a ladies man sometimes comes in to my class wen I don't have her and starts saying I am so in love with u when there is a full clas and looks at me when she is saying it also when I have her for lessons she sits really close to me and like leans her arms and boddy next to me if she is seeing to some one next to me and I am this is my last year now and I keep saying that you won't see me again when I leave in 4 weeks and she keeps saying we will see each other again and smiles when she is saying it , evan when I get gfs in college she goes mad and gets all jealous and gives evil eyes and that and now its getting to the point were I dunno what to do espically when she is married and got a family and I don't know why she is doing this with me could you please give me advice on what to do thanks .
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Hi there,
I want you to consider the situation very carefully right now. You are legally old enough to pursue a relationship with someone who is 34 years old, however, your teacher is in a position of responsibility. I'm not sure how that stands where you live, but it's illegal over here to have any sort of relationship with a teacher, other than a purely professional one. As a teacher, she ought to be thoroughly informed on what is appropriate and what is not. By anyone's standards, her behaviour is far from acceptable, and in acting as she is, she runs the risk of permanently damaging her career as well as getting in trouble with the law.

Disregarding this, you must also remember that she is over ten years older than you, married and has a family. These factors alone should be large enough warning signs to tell you to steer clear. Let us assume that she really likes you and is prepared to give up her career and personal life to pursue a relationship with you. The very fact that she would do this indicates that she would probably turn around and do the same thing to you if she felt someone better came along. As to why she is doing this, it may simply be that her own personal life is unsatisfactory, though I wouldn't look into it any further than that.

It does indeed sound like you are enjoying her attentions, but this puts you just as much in the wrong as she. Tell her plainly that it has to stop.

Posted at 8:12 am on May 18, 2008

First you need to think about yourself in this situation. Do you like this teacher? Could you ever love someone who would cheat on their husband and leave their child behind? What she is doing is unprofessional and inappropriate. Relationships between students and teachers are forbidden so I advise you to steer clear of her at least for these next four weeks. You need to think about what impact a relationship with her would have on her family as well as what you want. It sounds like you enjoy her flirting, but do you want this to be something more or are you happy with it being harmless fun? It sounds as though she wants something more. Tell her what you want, whether you want a relationship with her or not because at the end of the day it is your decision. She needs to hear it from you straight because at the moment I expect that she is getting the impression that you feel the same way. You just need to think about the consequences of your actions though when pursuing a relationship so complicated as this.

Posted at 1:51 pm on May 14, 2008
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