I just want to let you know that none of this was your fault.  Obviously, both of your parents seem to have an addiction or psychological illness that is causing them to treat you the way that they do.  No one deserves to be treated the way you are being treated.  It's truly unfortunately that anyone has to experience anything like this.

Have you told anyone about your parents' behaviour?  Do you have any siblings?  And if so, do they receive the same treatment?  I suggest you tell someone about this immediately - before things get worse.  Trust me - things will get worse.  You need to seek help immediately before it's too late.  

Let's start off with your dad first.  Why does he hit you?  Does he drink or do drugs?  If so, these are two huge contributions to abuse.  However, if he is not - then he is just psychologically ill.  No human being should feel that they have the authority to treat a human being like that.  No one has the right to do that to someone else - no matter who they are and what their reasoning is.  Abuse is wrong.  Period.  Nobody can justify abuse - especially child abuse!

Here is a very helpful link to help victims deal with child abuse.  It offers support and advice to all of the victims:

Child Abuse

In regards to your drug addiction - I'm not going to tell you that "drugs are very bad for you" because you probably already know that.  However, I'm going to stress it in a different way.  Drugs don't solve any problems - they only make matters worse.  Please, don't turn to drugs to make you feel good and to help you get through these situations.  They may seem like they are helping at first, but in the long-run they can have serious negative effects on the human body.

For some information on drug addictions and how to help yourself overcome this addiction, visit:

Drug Addictions

Obviously your friends really care about you and they want to see you healthy.  This is why they want you to go to rehab.  But then you say that you don't want to go to rehab and quit drugs because then you will feel suicidal again.  I just want you to know that there is something wrong here.  You shouldn't have to resort to drugs in order to prevent you from being suicidal.  Rehab doesn't only help you overcome drug addictions.  There are many places you can go and many people you can talk to who can help you overcome your suicidal thoughts.  No one should feel that their life is so bad that the only thing left to do is to kill themselves.  Suicide is not the answer and drugs aren't the answer to prevent you from being suicidal.  This is concerning me a little bit because both situations - drug addiction and suicide - are extremely serious issues.  

I know that you think that whoever reads this won't understand how tough it is.  I'm not going to tell you that I have been in your position and know how it feels because that would be a lie.  What I can tell you to do is to get some help.  You need professional help, in regards to your family issues, your drug addiction and your suicidal thoughts.  All three issues are extremely severe - especially if abuse is involved.  I strongly advise you to tell someone about the situation or else it will not get better.  There are many people you can talk to about this - close relatives, trusted friends, teachers, guidance counsellors, police officers - there's so many people.  Talk to whoever you feel that you can be open and honest with because without those two things, it will be a waste of your time.  Go out and get the help that you need so that you can feel a lot better about your life.  Stop putting yourself through this horrible experience and do something about it.
It's great that you are open to going to rehab!  Now just go out there and do it!

If you ever need someone to talk to about your drug addiction, call:

Drug Abuse Hotline

USA:  1-800-662-4357
UK:    0800 776600

or if you ever have any suicidal thoughts, call:

Suicide Hotline

USA:  1-800-SUICIDE
UK:    08457 90 90 90

I hope I've helped.  Remember to tell someone immediately.

If you ever need anything, feel free to message me anytime.  My inbox is always open.

Good luck and keep your chin up!

~ Sabrina

Posted at 12:21 pm on June 28, 2008

It sounds like you are using drugs to suppress your emotions but this is only a short term solution and is not a helpful one either because as soon as you come down after your high you will be feeling low again and wanting more drugs. It's a vicious cycle and I'm sure you already know this from experience.

It seems like you are in the right frame of mind for getting better and getting over your drug addiction as you seem to know that they are not helping you. Your thought that you may feel suicidal again when you come off the drugs will be dealt with my professional doctors and psychiatrists who will monitor your mood and prescribe medication to help ease any emotional pain while you are in rehab. Also, you may find that being separated from your parents and the risk that they hold for you may make you feel more relaxed and satisfied with life.

As for what your dad is doing to you, it is completely unacceptable. What he is doing is criminal and nobody has any right to hurt any other person whether it be physically or mentally. Potentially you could get your father prosecuted for child abuse as this is what he is doing to you (and if your over 18 then it's still assault). However, this may seem like an impossible step as he is your father. I would advise phoning childline (if you live in the UK and are under 18) or another local helpline to discuss these issues. I am sure that they would support you in doing this when you check yourself into rehab as well.

I think that what you need right now is a break and some time to think. Don't worry about the future for now. It is the present that is what is important- getting you safe and getting you help.

I hope this helps.

Posted at 2:58 am on June 26, 2008