During your teenage years, you have to understand that relationships are probably the most difficult things that you will have to deal with.  As a female, you should know that males mature a lot slower tan females due.  This usually creates many problems when it comes to relationships and such.  Guys can be extremely immature when it comes to teenage relationships.  

It's totally normal to notice guys a lot - you're a teenage girl!  Trust me, almost every teenage girl is completely boy crazy and there is usually nothing wrong with that if you know how to cope with certain situations.  However, sometimes it is not such a good thing, especially if it's having a negative influence on your life.  It's very common to have crushes.  Everyone has them.  Sometimes they don't work out the way that we all want them to work out but we all have to learn to cope with situations like those.  

I wouldn't describe yourself as selfish for wanting something good to happen.  I mean, who doesn't want something good to happen?  Everyone wants their lives to go the way they want them to.  But in reality, we have to accept the fact that life is not fair and some things will not work out the way that we want them to.  Some people have a hard time accepting this fact but it really is one of the most important lessons that we have to learn.

Maybe you should take a break from relationships right now.  I mean, it seems to be having a negative effect on you, so why not take a break for a little while?  You're still young and you have plenty of time to have relationships and such.  Just take your time and try not to rush things too much.  Don't be in such a rush to grow up.  Enjoy your teenage years as much as you can because they will be gone before you know it!

It's very mature of you to be able to recognize the negative effect that this situation is having on you and how much you are changing as a person because of it.  You have come this far, now it's time to do something about it.  I think taking a break from guys and from relationships can really help you a lot.  Now, I'm not saying that you won't have crushes and stuff - because that is never going to happen.  Everyone develops crushes on people.  You just need to learn how to deal with them in a healthy way.

Like I mentioned before, sometimes guys can be extremely immature.  You will come across many guys who are nothing but fake, rude, ignorant, and liars.  However, you cannot generalize all guys to be like that.  Yes, you will come across guys who cheat, guys who lie, and guys who are fake, but you have to keep an open mind about guys, too.  I know girls who have had bad experiences with guys during their teenage years and therefore vowed never to get married.  I don't agree with this because they are just putting a general tag on guys saying that "they are bad", without even keeping an open mind about things.  What they fail to understand is that guys are extremely immature when they are teenagers but their maturity really starts to show once they enter their twenties.

You should never, ever change who you are for a guy.  That is one thing that I have learned to accept.  You should always be yourself - always.  Even if there is a guy who you really like, you have to stay true to yourself.  You shouldn't care what a guy thinks about you.  If a guy is the reason why you have changed as a person - for the bad - then he's really not worth it and you shouldn't waste your time.  When you are in a relationship, your partner should help you change as a person.  However, a good partner will help you change to better yourself as opposed to having a negative effect on you.

It is good that you see this change in yourself and wish to do something about it.  That is the first step into solving this issue that you have come across.  You just have to remember to be yourself.  People will love you for who you are.  The people that are actually worth it in life will never have a negative effect on you and force you to change who you are.  I can tell that you are a beautiful person and you should really never let anyone come in the way with that.  Be yourself because that's really the only thing that will make you happy.  Stay true to yourself.

You also have to learn to never listen to people who are saying negative things about you.  Listen to those who are saying positive things about you instead.  I mean, people say mean things to others for many different reasons - one major reason being jealousy.  You can't let ignorant people like these bother you.  Hang around people who do not say things to put you down but rather say things to bring you up and increase your self-esteem.  You really have to look at yourself and try and get back the beautiful person on the inside that you once were because obviously you are not happy with the person that you have become.  Remember, you can change and you can get that beautiful person that you once were back.  You just have to trust yourself, stay positive and be yourself!

I hope I've helped.  If you feel that you need to discuss this further, feel free to message me any time.

Good luck and keep your chin up.

~ Sabrina


Posted at 11:32 am on July 9, 2008

I really think you need to take a break from it all. Have some time to yourself away from guys and remember the things that make you happy. Do you like shopping? Or a certain sport? Do what makes YOU happy for a change. Don't try and change yourself for a guy. If you have to change for someone to like you, then they're not worth it, I promise. Focus on things you enjoy. Be selfish for once, and don't centre your life around other people. I promise you'll be feel better if you try and focus on your own happiness. You need to be happy on your own before you can be happy with a guy.

Good luck (:

Posted at 7:33 am on July 9, 2008