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Received: 2:53 pm on Aug. 11, 2008

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Subject: How to feel good about myself?

Hi, I have already talked to someone on this site about mr problems.They have helped me alot,but I still want more help.You know the pressure it has on me to "look good".Every time my friends are going to the movies with their boyfriend,I feel left out.Almost every one in my year group had a kiss before,I feel like a total loser.Some people call me preety,other call me ugly.Boys just make me want to go crazy.But I know mr mr.right guy will come soon.People tend to call me names,but I just ingnore then,then in the long run,break own and cry. cry myself to sleep at least 6 times a week.I get so sad sometimes,I just feel like being in the world alone.

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Decadence	Hey, well first off, the issue you're discussing here is self esteem. You're suffering from low self esteem. Not valuing yourself enough. You need to work on this and realise that you're as good as anyone else. People say you're pretty and I'm sure it's true. Everyone has their own beauty. Although it's nice to look attractive on the outside, the main thing is our personality. So don't feel you need to rely heavily on looking great all the time with so much make up etc. It doesn't matter if you haven't had your first kiss yet. It's better to save it for someone who's a really great guy. OK, so it's just kissing, but wouldn't it be so much better to have your first kiss with someone who values you a lot? You're not a loser, please don't think that. Instead, try this little exercise. Write a list of five things you like about yourself. For example, being clever. Then, add a sentence as to why you feel that way. Once you have all five, put it into a paragraph. Then, whenever you feel low, add another thing to the paragraph and refer to it when you need a 'pick me up'. For more tips on building your self esteem, visit the following websites: Website 1 Website 2 Website 3 I'm guessing that since you have trouble with valuing yourself, you may also be shy, in which case you find it difficult to make new friends and talk to guys anyway. So, I'd like to recommend this thread, as it has loads of great tips and advice. As for the name calling, the best thing to do is to let the comments roll off your back. People will always say things, for different reasons. Whether it's jealous or bullying, it's rarely true. Pay attention to those who say positive things about you. In the meantime, I suggest you start exercising. It will give you a much needed boost of confidence and the endorphins (feel good hormones) released into the blood stream will help you feel more calmer and happier. Best of luck. Posted at 8:07 pm on Aug. 11, 2008

jamesish	Its very clear you have low self esteem issues. This is what it balls down to. Everyone tries to "look good" in other people's mind. We want to be accepted. It seems to me that you just want to be accepted. You desire what everyone else desires. Sorry to hear that your friends are going to the movies with their significant others. Anyone would feel alone. But you can go to the movie too. When you go to the movies, just go with your girl best friends. It'll be fun not having any guys around. You wont feel like that anymore. You don't have to have any guy to be happy. I'm not sure how old you are but many people go through their teen years with few to little kisses. And I can tell you this. Kisses don't mean anything like they used to. Kissing almost has no significance now. Have joy in that. Everyone is going to judge one another. You're pretty. You're ugly. You're fat. You're skinny. Everyone is not going to think of you in a positive light. Maybe they're jealous. Maybe they're dealing with issues themselves. We all have standards. When someone says you're ugly, that doesn't mean you're ugly. It means that just in their eyes. You're doing the right thing by just ignoring them. Thats what you should always do. When you get alone later, its natural to cry. But you're letting it get to you too much. Let what they say go. They don't know you like they think they do. Don't cry over them, just laugh at them. This goes along with crying yourself to sleep so much. Don't let it get so deep inside of you. Let it out somehow. Loud music. Diary. I didn't read anywhere that you've seeked any kind of help. You could talk to a best friend. They will listen. They will even stick up for you. Dont try to handle this alone. Family. Brothers. Sisters. They will help you. Just think optimistic and try to do things that make you happy. Best wishes, ~jamesish~ Posted at 4:06 pm on Aug. 11, 2008

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