Hey there, This is a very bad situation to be in because she is 14 and you are 21. Maybe if she was older, it wouldn't be as sticky as it is but she isn't. I'm going to deal with this in sections and hopefully offer you some advice on this situation.
1) She's pregnant.
You have gotten this girl pregnant at 14. There are a few things you need to consider here. Obviously one is what you and her have decided about the baby. There are three options here.
- Keeping the baby. Are you and her willing to bring up a baby. Can you both financially support a child? Her being at the tender age of 14, I'm not so sure she would be able to handle a baby financially or emotionally for that matter. She is so young and has her whole life to settle down and have children. Keeping a baby and bring her/him up holds a lot of responsibilities. I think you at 21, would be able to cope with a child a lot better than this girl would since she is only 14.
- Abortion. This is another option you and this girl have. Many young girls who have abortions do because they have unplanned pregnancies and I'm doubting that this was planned. Its really a decision you can't go back on. Once its done, that's it. Its over. I thinking of how this girl would cope with the feelings many girls have after having an abortion. She may not feel that this is the best option to go with.
- Adoption. If you ask me, this may be best for both of you. You will know that your baby will be given too a safe home and the people will be able to provide your child with the wants and needs a baby should have.
Of course, I can't make the decision for you. Many would said for her to get an abortion but I personally think that adoption would be better for her. You and her need to sit down and talk about what you both plan for this child. You have a right about what you will for this child.
Weather you actually love her or not, I'm not here to decide that but at 14, do you honestly think she is in love with you? Many teenage girls kid themselves over love at a young age and think they are also in love when they are not.
2) Legal issues
I'm afraid that at 21, you have broken the law. This girl is 14 which means she is under the age of consent. (more than likey) This means you could easily go to jail and be charged with statutory rape. Statutory rape can be defined as; "If you are under the age of consent and you choose to have sex with someone who is over the age of consent, then they can be charged with the crime of 'statutory rape'. Some countries have different names for this crime, and some states in the US call it 'unlawful sexual penetration' or just 'rape'." It maybe a good idea if you contact a lawyer over this if her parents or someone else decides go to the police and press charges on you for this. Even though she and you may have both agreed to have sex, the law is the law and you maybe in big trouble of this because of her age.
3) Her parents.
I'm sure that her parents just acted because of the shock and horror that their daughter is pregnant at 14. It would be a good idea if you could sit parents down and talk to them about this. Their daughter is pregnant and they are her parents and should be there for her no matter what happens. Depending on what both you and this girl chose, her parents should be there for help and support during this time because no doubt it is a difficult time and a hard situation. I think they just need some time to cool off and accept what happens. Hopefully, after time she maybe able to move back into her home also.
I hope I have helped somehow. I wish you the best of luck!
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