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From: (Not Displayed) Received: 12:34 pm on Aug. 13, 2008 Return to Inbox
Subject: Lacking Happiness
I am 14 years of age. Well my real problem is my self confidence, and self-esteem. I don't feel good in my skin, whether it's the way I look, or the way people look at me. Most of my friends are way more experience than me [not sexually], am talking about relationships and dating. Well me, no ever been kissed, before, and I feel like I am missing out on something. Some people I have talked says, it's perfectly normal, I think so too, but..............I still feel left out. Good things come to those who wait right???????I want my first kiss to be special and remarkable.

Anyway,back to the self confidence thing,I just want to feel...welll I don't know. I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY!!Boys look at me,then blah,but I know I just have to wait.I am currently going to the gym,I have lost 9 pounds,people don't see it,but I know I have lost weight, and am quite happy!

         I am just starting to build up my confidence, not quite up there, but close. When I go to school, people call me names, I know they are playing, but it really hurts me's cry myself to sleep a lot. I just don't know what to do. .

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I'm glad you at least know what you're problem is.  And that is self-esteem.  The rest will fall into place once this problem is fixed.  What do you think is so wrong with you?  Your legs?  Your stomach?  Your lips?  We can't perfect everything and trying to do will drive us crazy.  And don't care what others will think of you.  Because that guy of your dreams wont care either.  And kisses don't mean really anything at your age.  And I totally agree with you wanting to save it for when the time is right.  Believe me, it will be SOOOO much more memorable.  It'll actually mean something.  If you get that kiss now, yes you'll feel great.  But it wont last very long.  If you accept who you are, you'll have the self confidence you want.  And you will be happy.  But first, you have to love yourself!  Boys are always gonna have their opinions.  And get fit for yourself.  Not for them.  I can assure you that if you do everything you're going to do for the boys and attention, then it wont last and you're self confidence will be greater, but not by much.  Do it for yourself and it'll last and you'll max out at self confidence.  People are always going to call each other names.  Have tough skin and never give into them.  Crying at night is a way to release what it building up inside.  But if you get your self confidence up, you can brush it off your shoulders.

Don't forget about other friends and family.  Talk to them if you reach a stand-still.

Here are some ways to boost your self-confidence:

More descriptions of these ideas can be found HERE


Spend some time getting to know yourself.
Act.
Conquer fear: take risks.
Stand up for yourself.
Set personal goals.
Learn from — but let go of — mistakes.
Do things on your own
Don't compare yourself to others.
Associate with people who affirm who you are.
Learn to say "no."
Practice truthfulness.
Practice positive affirmations.
Find things you enjoy.
Use visualization techniques.
Enhance your ability to cope with stress.
Shun perfectionism.
Make a list of your accomplishments.
Live in the moment.
Do things for others.
Take care of yourself physically.


Best wishes,

~jamesish~


Posted at 12:55 pm on Aug. 13, 2008

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