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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / The Serious Forum / Viewing Topic

Secrets, lies, and hate
It's a game of tug-o-war between me and myself, I being the rope.
Replies: 2Last Post May 22 3:51pm by hithere
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( Anonymous )

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Lately a lot of people have been dumping their secrets and troubles on me. Normally I don't have a problem with it, and I can just get on with my life. But the load's now getting to heavy. Espeically now, because I already had problems before.

First off, my friend is being a complete bitch. She talks about everyone behind their back like they're a peice of crap. Usually, she really sweet. Though now, she's like a snake ready to bite someone's head off. And I'm worried what she's saying about me. I already have problems with rumors at school.

Everyone is constantly calling me ugly and a fat fucktard. I know these aren't true, but it still hurts. For a while I resorted to bulemia, but I was constantly fainting and having to leave school because of it. I eventually got myself out of the eating disorder, without other's finding out. I now go to therapy with my school councilor, but she's not helping at all.

My third problem is, my aunt's cheating on my uncle. Nobody knows but me. She recently had cyber sex with him. I know she has reasons for what she is doing to my uncle. He throws her against walls, and threatens to divorce her and take her kids away so she'll never see them again. I know this isn't possible if she just told someone what he was doing to her, but she doesn't. Now I'm scared that she's going to get really hurt if he finds out, and I don't know if I should tell or not. If I tell, someone gets hurt. If I don't, people still get hurt. I lost in everyway and I don't know what to do about it.

I'm sorry for trying to put my problems on you, even if they are insignificant and irrational. I just needed to tell someone something, and try to get advice on what to do. Because I don't know...


6:35 am on May 12, 2008
Anticare

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I can't ignore this thread, so please bare with me if I didn't help you.

It's understandable to see why the people telling you their secrets would start to bug you. For one thing that's a lot of things to keep in your mind. Not only that but it can be hard to not know who to talk to. As why it's bothering you, is there a specific person that may possible be getting talked about? If so I think it would be best to confront that person, (assuming you know her) and tell her you heard someone say this. I understand that being the one to hold those secrets can be devastating on your self-esteem. For the most part, you've already mentioned a rumor about you that you heard, and the present fear of getting another one passed along. With that said it is probably best to speak up when someone wants to tell you something. Keep in mind that refusing and accepting can have the same consequences in the end. I say this because either way people will talk about anyone they please, it's just the sad reality.

As for your friend's change in her mood, have you notice her behavior different to? I ask this because sometimes an individual person copes when something is bothering them by acting out. Whether that is the case or not I think it can both benefit you to talk to each other and discuss what could be solved in the friendship. Whether she agrees or disagrees can determine if it really worth to keep hanging out with her. I'm not here to pick sides on one of the other, for I want to leave this up to you to decide if this alone is causing to much stress on you. From there you can make the decision you want.

Of course names are going to hurt, and in most cases they stand out more then the positive ones. Ever notice how simply it is to have just one negative comment in your mind for endless hours? Wouldn't it be easier to just ignore it? I really wish it were that simple, yet you can keep in mind that you do indeed know the comments aren't genuine. You know what you've overcame on your own, that itself is more powerful then words. You seem to have enough willpower and devotion to move forward. Don't you think you deserve that for yourself once again?  

As for the problem with your Aunt and Uncle, this has really left me unable to type. For one thing I have no idea where to begin. That is why I think it is best for you to encourage your Aunt to speak up. There's already children in the middle, I think it be best for them and your Aunt to get a safer environment. It's not to late to tell, yet keep in mind by not saying anything your affecting the whole family. Yet, before you tell you need to find a shelter for them if you sense danger.

These problems weren't irrational. They're problems that need to be fixed to get better.

Good Luck.

Post edited at 12:45 pm on May 18, 2008 by Anticare

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12:44 pm on May 18, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 111 Days Active
Join to learn more about Anticare Alberta, Canada | Bisexual Female | 5461 Posts | 6520 Points
hithere


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I would usually suggest telling people that you can't actually solve anything for them and telling your friend that she needs to chill out and appreciate things/people.

However, I'm not going to do that; I want to know why can't you just say those things?

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3:51 pm on May 22, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2005 | 620 Days Active
Join to learn more about hithere Washington, United States | 19206 Posts | 58456 Points
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