Ultimately I want to get a degree in art, probably graphic design, and then do H dip so I can teach art in school if money gets tight. My family isnt really supporting me in an art degree, or even college at all. Ill only be the second man to go to college in my family, my dad dropped out of school at 15 and has no real value for education or art. He refers to my art as "That Clobber" at the best of times.

I have to do a portfolio course first, and my only 2 real choices are Athlone and Galway. Galway's rent is 80 a week, and the college doesnt supply materials and has a fee of 150 to do the course. Athlone is 40 a week and supplies the materials, but has a fee of 450 to do the course.

Mum wants me to do the course from home, but I fucking hate staying home, im a long way from my friends, and I dont really get a long with my family, especially my dad. I dropped out of school at 16 and then went back a year later, a lot of my friends are in college now and Ive lost contact with them over the year and the few friends I have are all living at the colleges next year and if I stay home Im gonna lose what friends I have left and not really making any new ones...plus Ill go insane if I have to stay home, go to college and come backwhen the lectures have finished.

Now we mustnt forget that on top of the rent we have various bills plus food and then socialising to pay for, but I know people ar able to keep that up on a part-time job, and I intend to get a job but my parents are very sceptical ill be able to support myself.

I guess I really want to go to Athlone cos its somewhere new, and the rent is only 40 a week, and thats gonna save me a lot of money, which in turn can be used when I do my graphic design course afterwards.

Another thing is, I dont know how much the fact that Catherine goes to Athlone is influencing my decision. I dont even know if its cos of her, cos Ive come to realise that i dont like her now, or cant like her now. I liked her when I was in a different mindset, when it was the summer of 2007 and it was sunny all day, I had no drugs and I had lots of cash in my pocket. I could be pursuing that feeling, and I know that if I go to Athlone Im gonna get it cos it will bring me that mindset back, Ill feel ok and theres less people I already know there. But Catherine goes there........ her last year.

And now Im even wondring if Im wasting a lot of money in going to college at all. I mean I could leave home and go on a full time job in July and be away from my family and independant.

The lack of support from my family, and the fact that we got a new art teacher who isnt very helpful has also given me serious doubts about my own ability at art.

Guys, can you help me at all? My heads a mess.

Post edited at 9:05 am on May 3, 2008 by ElephantStone

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