I honestly don't care that that thing happened me anymore.  Yet many rape victims take longer to recover.  Why do I not give a shit?  Is there something wrong with me or am I just the sickest individual on Earth?

Example:

The Saturday before Memorial Day, my "uncle" shot himself, and I found him.  My best friend (who was his blood nephew) was at the house with me, and saw him right after I did.  We were equally close to the man.  I'm not okay.  He is.  According to our PTS counselor, the major difference between us is our memory.  I have an alright short term memory.  His is nearly non-existent (apparently a result of several motorcycle accidents).  

From what she said, memories start off in your short term memory, and are eventually processed and sent to your long term memory.  You remember things vividly when they're still in your short term memory and memories become more distant once they reach your long term memory.  

My short term memory acts pretty much typically.  With my friend, he either forgets, or its flipped straight over to his long term memory, so everything is always more distant for him, so he might handle your situation the same as you, while I'd be traumatized.

I'm probably not explaining things completely correctly, but that's how I understood it.

Anyways, again, there's nothing wrong with you.  If anything, you're lucky.

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There's not a joy the world can give like that it takes away
When the glow of early thought declines in feeling's dull decay

It seems that you are trying to ignore some of your feelings and forget about it.

There is nothing wrong, it is just your way of coping with that kind of trauma.

*hugs*

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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift!
That's why we call it PRESENT.

Also, I think its good that you can make a recovery from this. If you sit the rest of your life and dwell on it and me sad or angry about it, then your life can never move on. Putting bad things in the past and not obsessively thinking about them is a good thing, in my opinion.

Good luck, and PM me for anything. :)

xx
Chelsea

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they let us play with markers
but i kept trying to draw infinity
and i read the bible to pass the time.
read my blog.

I have no idea why you don't care what happened to you, but if I were you, I'd spend more time on the things that are bothering you than the things that aren't. I mean, you mentioned that yourself that you're trying not to think about it. Why so? Is it painful for you, does it make you feel things emotionally that you just don't want? Perhaps you should let yourself think about it, and try coming to terms with how thinking about it makes you feel. You can concern yourself with the things you're not experiencing if you so wish, but I'm not sure that's actually going to get you anywhere. However, taking a look at the things you are feeling might help in the long run - if there are feelings there that you're choosing to ignore, I reckon they're best dealt with sooner rather than later. They do need to be dealt with.

And if you really are ok, if you feel you've dealt with everything emotionally, then try not to worry about it. I do completely understand why you're concerned, but just because you're not experiencing some of the feelings you hear about in a rape victim, well, I don't think it necessarily means there's anything wrong with you. I think it's really good that you've told someone, though, and you know that person's there should you ever need to talk about it. All I can really say is do what feels right. That's all a person can really ever do.

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shelves in the closet? happy thought indeed!

Kind of like when people feel guilty because they're not mourning a death as badly as the people around them.

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Who dares wins. - Special Air Service

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Looks to me like you're still having problems with it, since you're worried about the fact that you're not worried about it.

Kind of like when people feel guilty because they're not mourning a death as badly as the people around them.

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So what would you suggest that I do, because I have a feeling you're pretty much totally right.

I don't think it's such a big deal, and if you don't think so either, good, that makes two of us. Live life.

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In my opinion, sexual harassment is such a huge deal partially because of the social stigmatization around the crime and around the victims. People tell you you'll never recover and expect you be to scarred for life, so you are.

I don't think it's such a big deal, and if you don't think so either, good, that makes two of us. Live life.

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And this is why we get along so well.  I don't give a shit about being raped really, and probably won't if it happened again.  I completely agree with you.  And I'm fairly certain you know who I am

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no idea

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quite unlikely, dieggers

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no, really, no idea

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don't joke with me, my 4chan lolitabuddy