Okay well I have this ex boyfriend. We dated last year around this time. Even though he wasnt my FIRST boyfriend. He was the first serous relationship I have ever had. We broke up because me and him just weren't working out as a couple. Of course there was a bitter peroid but that didnt last very long. Soon enough we became close friends. Through all of this; there was never a time that I didn't stop loving him.

Hes soo funny and trusting and always gives me the best advice. We chill almost everyday and were on tha phone even more.

Even though I haven't been able to date since him, hes had quite a lot of girlfriends. They never really bothered me cause they werent all that serous. Until his current girllfriend. who also happens to be my best friend.

Its killing me watch him love  another girl. Figurativly and Literally. I haven't been able to hold down food ever since I found out he told her he loved her. that was almost a week ago. I was hanging out with both of them the other day and i couldnt even look at either of them. Yes I've told her how I felt. I also told her that I don't want to be selfish and as long as theyre both happy I can be too.

Now I've reached a harder deliema. I don't think I can continue my friendship with him, but I don't think I can just let him go that easily. I honestly cant go a day without talking to him. Hes the only person to know every little detail about my life. Hes like my fucking cocaine. He puts me through so much pain though without realizing it. Everywhere I turn... hes on my mind. I can't even listen to the radio without breaking down anymore.

The other thing is... I know it would hurt him too. Hes told me on more than one occassion that im one of the most important people in his life. With every little thing he does, I know he still cares. I've talked to him about how I felt before and he gets really upset and says that I dont need to go and everything will be okay. Actaully last night he said "everything will be okay" 36 times. [Yes I counted]

But I don't honestly know if hed be right. I honestly NEED to let him go. I know its for my own good. I HAVE to do whats best for me right? Would that be best? I'm really terrified I've never depended on a person as i have him.

I know I can't just... up and stop talking to him. I would go crazy. I would love to find a way to get through this without having to lose such a great friend. I honestly can't see any other way.

Please help me.

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In the end you always return to the
people who were there in the begining.