yeah.

And I know that the hormone oestrogen had to have gotten fucked up quite a bit, especially since I used to have an incredibly, freakishly high sex drive and don't anymore.

Then I found this article and am freaking about it...

http : // news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4396230 . stm

because I remember my aunt coming to me when I was fourteen and saying my facial features have changed etc etc and I could tell it was from puberty, duh, but now my mom and me myself judging (I can tell) say I look about fifteen (I'm seventeen) and my face is just trapped forever in youngerdom I feel because of the estrogen issue.

And that shit might have even taken from my own bone structure in my face, for instance, it made the bottom parts of all of my teeth translucent when it was robbing nutrients from them to keep me alive.

I really feel right now like my face was meant to develop beautifully because I was a high-oestrogen girl,  and I've stopped that change from happening during puberty thanks to my anorexia.

I don't know how to deal with this. I'm just so angry at myself beyond description for letting that happen to me still, it ruined my life and body forever, and this is just one more thing to hate myself for.  

You can't change what you've already done, but you control what you're doing.

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"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"