It was horrible last night, when I agreed to go out with the others to a couple of bars. Conversation was horrible, I am very shy, and couldn't think of anything to say to them. Plus, trying to be heard over the music is impossible! Then they were like: 'Megan, are you shy? nervous?'. When I left, I had some stranger lecturing me about how I should be more talkative, and people telling me to say something or 'anything'. Yet, all I wanted to do was leave, because the music was terrible and I was sitting there knowing that I'd soon be tucked up and in bed, but amongst the chavs and beer stained carpets, everything seemed to last an eternity. I just became horribly nervous. What I hate about shyness, is when it gets treated as a disease, something repulsive, and where you have to literally try and force words out of people. I mean, you wouldn't go to a special need's school, drag an autistic child out of the class and make him stare you in the eye whilst trying to force him to talk. Yet, this is how it felt for me. (well, maybe not physically dragging, but mental sure, then having to look that stranger in the eye after she was criticising me. )
This is why being a recluse was so much easier.
-------
''You have the most marvelous youth, and youth is
the one thing worth having!'' - Oscar Wilde-
412 users online 
186517 members 
You have 1 new message.
Patron
