Another problem is how will I be able to afford a relationship if I don't have a job. I do make money a way though, but can't tell anyone about it (even though it's perfectly legal but not a job). So I do make some but need a job. What woman would want a guy who is unemployed looking for work?

It makes me more stressed out to not have a job yet look and look. I don't enjoy most things in life because of this and kind of am depressed. I haven't been friendly at all to people lately due to feeling bad and people aren't to me either. I feel alone when surrounded by people which is sad. I don't know what I'll do to get out of this depression and anger rut, not having a job and getting that special woman who I am meant to be with.

Advice and thoughts are very appreciated.

Come on people. Help.

1) Get a job
2) Make friends regardless of how you're feeling (starting up some new hobbies can help with this)
3) Go out and party with those friends
4) Once your social life is improved, you'll feel more confident about getting involved with this chick

Basically, you have to realize that women will not cure your depression or negative/angry thinking. You have to be happy as a person before you can be happy in a relationship or with another person. If you're not, your relationships will repeatedly fail.

So go out and be friendly. I don't care if you're the poorest person in the world, you can be conversational and genial around others -- just look at the example of Siddhartha Gautama. Understand that you're not the only one going through a lot of shit, you just have to be strong and learn to deal with what you've got. What else are you gonna do?

I used to be happy and positive but then that came crashing down when I found out she was in a long distance relationship, and trouble with finding a job. It's hard to get into that positive mode again but I keep looking for work and try to seem okay when out.