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Quote: from pumpkin475 at 9:26 am on July 6, 2008

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Quote: from Tigerhawk at 6:21 am on July 6, 2008

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Well some people are raised differently than you. Theyve experienced different things. They've been abusing people all their life and the people they abuse abuse them back. Some people have anger issues and its just not their fault. Their personality might change in seconds from loving to abusive, although they try hard. And of course, some people think its LOVE while they just dont like them THAT much personality-wise but still think that this is the maximum amount of feelings they can have for anyone.

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i disagree with this. you're entitled to your opinion and all but i personally believe that if a person has an anger issue, they will be able to control it for someone they love.

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Ever hear of Anger Management? It exists for a reason...people with anger issues clearly can't just magically control them because they're in love...if they could do it without needing some sort of help, there'd be no need for such a thing.

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they are mentally ill.  
i dont think when they are doing the abusing they are 'the same person' as when they are 'in love'
my parents had an abusive relationship. and i honestly think the thing that keeps someone in one is a) love and b) fear.

they love the person when they are being normal. the abuse might not occur that often.
if it does, they are probably at a point where they are so controlled by this person they cant imagain life without them, dont think that they can cope without them, and are scared of what they might do if they try and escape.
usually in an abusive relationship, the abuser will tell the other they are worthless, hopeless and need them. most people will begin to belive this after a while.
there are certain types of people who will be caught in abusive relationships. these are the quiet, compliant people.  
they will start to belive they deserve what they get and they cant live alone.
also in my parents case my mother couldnt afford to seperate from my father.
so there are many reasons... but basically mental illness...

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You would have noticed the word "some" in my statement, and no I never argued that it constitutes a right for them to abusive their lovers, etc... I merely made a statement. You asked a question in which most of us gave an opinion. The only thing you can do is ask the thousands if not millions of abusers why they do it.

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my dad has an anger issue. a huge one.....like, really bad, no joke. he's never layed a hand on my or my siblings....ya know why? cus he loves us.  if another person with an anger issue loves someone, i think they can do so much as to keep their fists to themselves

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So your Father never layed a hand on you or your siblings, what about your Mother? Not all the time will a positive emotion defeat the negative. And to be honest for everything that a person does that is bad to harm someone or themselves, some medical doctor can give you tons of excuses and reasons along with a diagnosis. (Which to me in some cases, is just an excuse.)

Post edited at 6:43 am on July 6, 2008 by Enzeru

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"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's
ignorance."
Confucius

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Quote: from pumpkin475 at 9:31 am on July 6, 2008

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my dad has an anger issue. a huge one.....like, really bad, no joke. he's never layed a hand on my or my siblings....ya know why? cus he loves us. if another person with an anger issue loves someone, i think they can do so much as to keep their fists to themselves

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So your Father never layed a hand on you or your siblings, what about your Mother? Not all the time will a positive emotion defeat the negative. And to be honest for everything that a person does that is bad to harm someone or themselves, some medical doctor can give you tons of excuses and reasons along with a diagnosis. (Which to me in some cases, is just an excuse.)

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i know that a positive emotion does not always override the negative. but a powerful positive emotion will. and that power emotion is love. so in my opinion, if this "love" is not enough to overcome this want to physically damage someone, then it's not love. they may care for that person and like them but there is a difference between that and love

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insanity is what keeps me sane