So I'm at the Supermarket 'cause my roommate's a fuckin' idiot who thinks he can eat all the damned food in the house and then go to sleep. Well, what the fuck am I 'spose to do when I get hungry?! Damn fatass doesn't bother to leave his room unless he has classes.
The most action I've ever seen this guy do was masturbate, I walked in on him in the bathroom (which brings up my next point) WHO THE FUCK LEAVES THE DOOR PARTIALLY OPEN!? Hell, every time I have guests over to drink, watch movies, hangout, the guy stays in his room. ANY WAY:
So, I'm at the supermarket and I'm waiting in line to pay for my shit. Many TV dinners (The diet kind, hopefully fattie won't eat 'em), some Rice Cakes, Ramen, etc, when this (get this) FAT ASS in front of me starts to complain that the item he wants that is on sale ISN'T in stock.
I sit there and contemplate what I should say, assuming I'd be there longer than I'd want to be; Granted, the item was a BOGO Chips Sale. Go figure.
So finally, as he's in the middle of harassing this excellent Cashier, I open my mouth.
"Hey, fatass, can we shut the hell up and move on? Ok? They're chips, dumb fuck. Buy them another time. What the hell's your problem?"
"You wanna know?!" he said to me without turning around.
Shit, this guy was bigger than me. So he turns around and stares at me. I swear I almost shat my pants.
So he finally says
"I had reese's for breakfast!"
"Shit, you had candy for breakfast?!"
"Not candy, Reese's Puff Cereal!"
So he pours me a bowl and I shove the spoon in my mouth. Then a completely orgasmic wave of peanut butter and chocolately taste bombards my taste buds.
Reese's Puff Cereal;
It's reese's, FOR BREAKFAST!
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