She tells me she likes me alot. We went on a date; it was fantasitc.

She tells me she wants to be more self-dependant after she came to rely too much on her last boyfriends opinons for her self esteem; that she doesn't want a boyfriend or a relationship right now. At first she said she wanted to fuck around, but then she told me she liked me too much for that.

This in combination with the fact that she's been accepted to a different college that is about 2 hours away from me, makes a relationship seem retarded.

I just want her happy. Well. not really. I want her. As we talked I tried to tell her about the former of the two desires I have; but the urge behind it was impossible for me to describe; it was totally against me letting her go. I was compleatly honest: I told her we needed to hang up.

I told her this because shortly after I realized that by me saying 'I only wanted you happy' I was saying that she wasn't worth fighting for.

and perhaps this is why she doesn't have much selfesteem in the first place. perhaps she doesn't have it because her last boyfriend wasn't willing to fight for her, to keep her even though they had been accepted to different colleges.

This other part of me wants me to call her back right now and try to woo her; to make her realize that she doesn't have 2 rely on my compliments, but could take them as suggestions to help her build her self-esteem.

This urge to fight is alien to me.

I dont know what to do.
I want her. Happy.

Should I leave things as they are? Have I done the right thing?

As things are now, we just... well.. we wern't going out, but we decided we wont date anymore. She told me she'd like to talk to me on the phone but that might be... risky for her and me as well.

She doesn't want to like me/ have me like her too much.

So i suppose our comunication is limited to AIM now.

(Note, not me an you, lol_)

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"To be the man, you gotta beat the man,"- Ric Flair