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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

lame poem
Replies: 4Last Post Sep. 27, 2008 11:20am by nikki123
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( Hey Jewlee )


Executive
Reply
They turn
and begin to walk
away from each other
her to the metro station
him to the cafe where he works
past the drunks clutching bottles
past the chic stores
past the boarded up buildings
past the place where they first met
she starts down the stairs
he goes through the door
into the train
behind the counter
gone.

thoughts?

-------
green eyes, blue skies
natural disasters when she cries.


11:02 am on Sep. 27, 2008 | Joined May 2008 | 171 Days Active
Join to learn more about Hey Jewlee Israel | GLBT Ally Female | 1514 Posts | 3512 Points
sosupkthnx


Connoisseur
Reply
What the fuck is this?

-------
I love Shanley!!!

11:04 am on Sep. 27, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 239 Days Active
Join to learn more about sosupkthnx New York, United States | Straight Male | 3767 Posts | 6468 Points
carracer


Soothsayer
Reply
You said it yourself.
Its a lame poem.

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The world is only as sweet as you make it and only as terrible as you see it

11:05 am on Sep. 27, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2007 | 218 Days Active
Join to learn more about carracer New York, United States | Straight Male | 9508 Posts | 12525 Points
Louisianaaa X3


Personal Assistant
Reply
awe i like it verryy much

good job..

cept its mushy..

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i would rather be hated for who i am then loved for something im not 3


11:16 am on Sep. 27, 2008 | Joined Sep. 2008 | 6 Days Active
Join to learn more about Louisianaaa X3 New Jersey, United States | Female | 117 Posts | 179 Points
nikki123


Dairy Product Addict
Reply
not bad. would be a bit longer though and have a bit more detail but its alright. mediocre. keep trying.

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m.o.r.r.i.s.o.n. ilujenny3      the only way that you can love
me is if you have me again and again and again and a

11:20 am on Sep. 27, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2008 | 21 Days Active
Join to learn more about nikki123 Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada | Lesbian Female | 963 Posts | 1176 Points
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