I'm not going to go through all the examples.. I know she wants to talk to us about it... she'll randomly say things like "we need to have a roommate talk soon.. like a really big talk.." generally when the topic of food or being "fat" comes up. We're not dumb, we know what's going on.

It's just that, when she does tell us.. I really have no clue what to say to her, or how to act.

I've dealt with this a little by myself but it was something that I got over by myself. Nothing that anyone said helped me, or made me feel any better. My case is probably minuscule to her case anyways.

So I guess have any of you deal with somebody close to you that was bulimic/anorexic?

Did your words ever actually help?

Or if you're a victim or you were a victim what would you want to hear...just basically, what the hell should we all do?

-------
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left"
-Marilyn Monroe

---

Well...I don't think theres really anything to say. She has to get through this on her own.

---

Ok well I obviously know that.

But she's going to sit down and talk to all of us eventually. What am I supposed to do.. sit there and stare at her?

They need some kind of support system and I know her family sucks balls. All she really has is a boyfriend and her roommates.

-------
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left"
-Marilyn Monroe

You could also ask if she wants any help in getting herself some help, perhaps? I did that with my friend and he made it clear he didn't want me to involve anyone else, so I'd honestly respect that if I were you. You probably know yourself that it's something very, very personal and when and if she's ready she'll get help. And you guys can be there to help if that time does come. My friend eventually saw a counselor and I was there every step of the way, sort of in the background because all the steps had to be taken my him and had to be his own decisions.

Keep an eye on her. Be there, chat, hug, whatever. But keep and eye on her throughout it all. That's what I had to do with my friend - is still what I do with my friend and, if it ever got to the stage, I'd get him help if need be. That kind of thing.

Gosh. I'm sorry. This stuff is so hard and there's so little you can do. But.. well, I really think the little stuff can help the most.

Post edited at 12:43 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 by amiee

-------
the laughter penetrates my silence
as drunken men find flaws in science

My advise would be to tell her: "Tell me how you need me and I'll try to do it". Support and understanding is are the most important things. She will probably just  need people to keep her in track, because even though she might be able to handle it  own her own sometimes, sometimes it will be hard, specially because after a while I assume she really got use to it. Is like re-teaching yourself a whole new way of walking after a car accident but reenacting constantly the car accident. Don't judge her and be a friend. You can't really do much that that.

Maybe perhaps try to avoid the body weight and things of that kind talk when you are around her.

I hope it goes smoothly. You will probably adapt once you see how she is going to do this. Each person is different so I don't know you kinda just have to go around her and her way of dealing with it. Just don't be too supporting because she needs to carry her own weight in order to not fall again.

-------
I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then i could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that can hold us back.

We never really talk about it, she's an extremely introverted person. We have a relationship at the point where if she needed to, she knows she can come to me with problems. I'm just standing by and waiting for her to approach me, although I know she probably won't.

-------
Educators destroy your brain,
but you don't know, so why care?
Fagotto